Family: December 2007 Archives
'It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got.' - Sheryl Crow, Soak up the Sun
Bzzzz! Over here!
We went to see The Bee Movie today.
I enjoyed it, mostly because it was just fun listening to Jerry Seinfeld again.
The plot has enormous holes though. Enormous ones. You could fit elephants in them.
Be prepared to have lots of mental spackle/wallfiller/polyfiller/glue/whatever you want to call it to allow you to leap from one plot segue to the next.
Some of the moments are cool though. The Bee Larry King skit is pretty awesome.
Funny thing though, a tear slipped down my cheek and disappeared into my t-shirt when the montage of how everything was going to be ok again to the Sheryl Crow song (in the youtube clip up there) came on at the end of the movie.
I guess I'm a sucker for happy endings after all.
'Think of all the fun I've missed, think of all the fellows that I haven't kissed, next year I could be just as good, if you check off my christmas list.' - Pussy Cat Dolls, Santa Baby (I really like this version).
Me: An Ipod dock so I can never have to change a cd again, and then nonsensically Fiction Plane, Leaf and The Killers cds (favourite song on this cd is Glamourous Indie Rock and Rock). Tell me why I didn't download?
Him: Guitar Hero Legends of Rock III: So he can pretend to be a guitar god.
Littlest One: A Playdoh clown thing which mama (that's me!) won't know where to put when he's done with it.
Biggest One: A K'nex rollercoastery thing and ditto above.
Forget peace, love and charity. It's all about the gifts! Isn't it?
'And so this is Christmas and what have you done?' - John Lennon & Yoko Ono, Happy Christmas (War is Over) - watch the clip!
...the beautiful ice outside, a killer training session with my favourite trainer (who pushes me harder than anyone else and seems to know exactly which way to push me to get that last ounce of determination out), drinks at Nina and Chris which was fun fun fun...
I never used to drink, more out of fear than anything else I suppose, but fear is something best left far behind, don't you think? I took them some japanese snacky things and a very festive bottle of wine.
The name got me. Who doesn't like something called Luna di Luna? Doesn't it sound and look faaaaabulous? Of course, Chris and Nina & Milla are fabulous, which is why they got the bottle.
It probably tastes a bit crappy, so no doubt it's the wine you open after the other eight bottles are empty... but it looks so pretty. See the pink one? Valentine's Day anyone? Sometimes image is everything ...
Today I'm planning my menu for Christmas Day, baking some sugar cookies* with the kids, going swimming at the gym, trying the new treadmills again. The gym has Technogym equipment but the old treadmills were old and they new ones are new and they are so smooth and they have MTV and TMF!
The tv channels were limited on the old ones and TMF got kicked in favour of news. So this is the best Christmas present ever. I'm so in love.
Oh, you want the cookie recipe? It's from Nigella, who taught me how to lick a spoon lasciviously and with feeling ... but really a sugar cookie recipe is just a sugar cookie recipe.
Nigella's Cut-Out Sugar Cookies
Makes 30. Double the recipe.
For the cookies
90g butter, (don't shoot me, but I prefer margarine)
100g sugar
1 large egg
1/2 tsp imitation vanilla extract (yes, I know, it should be real vanilla extract, but what can I say, I grew up cheap)
200g plain flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
For the icing
150g icing sugar
food colouring
- Preheat the oven to 180C.
- Cream butter and sugar together in the food processor until pale and fluffy.
- Beat in the egg and vanilla.
- Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients and pulse.
- You could add some lemon zest to the cookie mixture, yum. Or some koek-en-speculaas kruiden, or some gingerbread spice. Whatever you want really. What not add wasabi? ;)
- Form the dough into a ball and then press into a disc and leave it in the fridge, wrapped in clingwrap for about an hour.
- Sprinkle surface with flour.
- Get stepladder and stools for children. Try not to fall over stepladders, stools and children.
- Roll out dough to about 1/2 cm thick and then allow children loose with cutters.
- Bake on lined baking sheets for about 10 -12 minutes.They should be gold on the edges and a little soft still in the centre.
- Take them off the baking paper and cool them on a rack.
- When they're cooled mix the icing by adding about half a teaspoon of water at a time to the icing sugar. Colour as desired. Have m&m's, sprinkles, nonpareils, and all kinds of other decorative things handy.
- Avoid fingerprints in the icing.
- Allow to set and then give them to your friends and neighbours on Christmas Eve.
- Get many many brownie points for being such an organised mother. Heh.
I have a free day tomorrow with the kids in the daycare so I plan to do something completely different.
A museum, a day trip, a drive... something different and fun.
I listen and I think of my childhood.
'I could have been someone. Well so could anyone. You took my dreams from me, when I first found you' - The Pogues & Kirsty McColl, Fairytale of New York
Mom on the couch, cigarette in one hand, knees curled up under her, skirt moving higher and higher as the drink kicks in. Dad in his chair, newspaper on his lap making us keep quiet while the news is on. Simmering tension in the room as they wrestle with their choices.
The Christmas cards are all stuck up on the wall. Holly, snow, robins, mistletoe. I've never seen mistletoe before and I wonder if it's magic. If you kiss under the mistletoe will you find true love? My teenage self, desperately romantic, hopes so.
Christmas is high drama. Twenty or more assorted family members and no-one knows if mom will get drunk.
Not just drunk, incapable drunk.
Not just tipsy, but helpless, mascara streaked tears and beautiful blue eyes full of pain.
Until then we'll sit under the bauhinia tree on lawn chairs and dig at each other. Gran will tight-lippedly do the dishes on the back verandah at around four when she disapproves of the conversation.
Dad will complain about the weather.
Uncle T will tell tasteless jokes to mom in the pantry and try to get her to drop her pants when she's at the cusp of had enough and had too much. My cousins will tease me mercilessly.
The Christmas lights will twinkle in the bright sunlight. We'll all drink tea and eat cake.
We have so much to be thankful for. Let's count our blessings.
Thank god for the servants, even though they have the day off. Thank god for Gran whose making three different kinds of cake and all the desserts. Thank god that Uncle T will be bringing his booze and then taking it all home again. Thank fucking Christ that we'll be playing happy families and pretending we all love each other while the sun beats through the humid air.
And silently we wonder when we'll see a better time? When will all our dreams come true?
The memories bitter, yet so familiar, knife-sharp and clear and I miss it.
I want it back, even with all the anguish. I miss my Mama, but she's 2000 miles away.
So happy Christmas, I love you.
'Driving home for christmas, With a thousand memories' - Chris Rea, Driving Home For Christmas
Christmas is late in our household this year.
Usually I decorate directly after Sinterklaas.
Usually our apartment is lit up for a whole month and the lights stay up until my birthday on 11 January.
Not this year.
On Wednesday the children asked, 'Where is the Christmas tree, mama?'
On Friday they asked 'Where is the Christmas music and where are the Christmas movies?'
Today they cried because I have presents from work and we have no tree up to put them under.
Yesterday we had Christmas breakfast at work, complete with silly hats, and finally I seem to have a little bit of the Christmas spirit.
I'll be decorating like a crazy person later today, and visiting some friends later this afternoon to have some grown up Christmas fun.
If you need some Christmas spirit too, go visit Francine.
Her photos will inspire you.
'You can't sleep at night. You can't dream your dreams. Your fingerprints on file, left clumsily at the scene. Your own worst enemy has come to town ... ' - Bruce Springsteen, Your Own Worst Enemy
That didn't last long.
9 weeks to be exact.
I started on 22 October and on 31 December I'll be done. So what made it not work?
The combination of not being in charge of my own time anymore. Missing my former life. The salary after tax being much much less than I expected. The kids being restless. The work/home balance being insurmountable.
The hum of office life being more like a listless drone.
One way or another it wasn't my thing. I think I realised pretty quickly that I'm no longer cut out for 9 - 5 regardless of the prestige of the job.
Though it was pretty nice to have some kind of actual worth attached to one's day to day existence.
Being able to watch the response to 'yes, I work for xxx as xxx' was infinitely more rewarding than watching the response when to that loaded question of 'what exactly do you do?' you answer 'oh, I'm a mom and I look after my kids and I work out and I lunch and sometimes I work part time in a florist'.
The response to that is usually some weird combination of, 'wow, you're a spoiled brat' and a look that says 'why don't you get a real job?'.
Things I will miss:
- The sense of purpose.
- Of getting up and going somewhere and having a role. Thing is, I think I defined my role so clearly before I started working that it was difficult to redefine myself.
- Having a friend that you see every day and can chat to as you walk past.
- Parties!
- Weird things like having your own mug in the cupboard.
- Getting cake and singing on birthdays.
Things I will not miss.
- The two o'clock dip.
- Getting excessive amounts of coffee to ward off the two o'clock dip.
- Water-cooler gossip.
- Endless going to the toilet just to be somewhere else!
- The cattiness.
- Appearing busy because you have to sit in your chair for the 8 hours you're paid for.
I don't know really.
I think I'll write the novel.
Blog more, travel more. Inspect my navel for fluff. Wax my upper lip. Paint my apartment.
Dream some dreams. Live some life.
Visit Paris. Hello David!
Visit Germany. Hello Charlotte!
Visit LA. Hello Neil!
