change
'Will you still recall my name, and the month it all began?' - Liquido, Narcotic
A rush from the 80's, (remember this song?) and a quote for you.
If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.What do you think?
Tony Robbins
I think it's a bit simplistic. Of course you do have to change what you've always done so that you can get something different to what you've always gotten, but it's the keeping it changed. The trick of not slipping into patterns and rhythms that you've always been in because they are there and you can and it's easy and simple just to do what you've always done.
I talked the other day to someone about the motivation for change. They thought that the motivation for why we do things was important, and that having a poor motivation (like fear) would affect the outcome of the change. Again, not convinced here. What does it matter what the reason is that we release ourselves from the couch/stop drinking/stop overeating/leave unhappy relationships?
What really matters is taking that first step. After that it's just one moment at a time and I believe that by the end of the 'change journey' the initial motivation is often completely irrelevant. When I think back to my own motivation to lose weight I can't even remember what the spark was that got me off the couch, but I know damn well what my motivation is now. I've had people ask me what the 'click' was that made me do it and I can't remember. I don't think there was even one. It was more a case of plodding along, one tiny step at a time.
What do you think about change? Is there some big change you've made in your life that you are trying to keep afloat? Or did you change something and then slip back to how it was before? More importantly, if you slip, do you think you've failed, or is it just a slip and you'll carry on tomorrow?
Having been a yo-yo dieter in my time, I know that I have counted tiny slips as huge failures. I'm learning slowly that slips can be accommodated and do not mean disaster. The change I'm incorporating in my life right now is constant writing, but when I can't write for a while (like right now!), I'm telling myself it's a brief hiatus and I will be back in the groove soon.
You can change anything you want - just tune into the right frequency and remember that change is always constant. Falling back into a pattern is an excuse.
The key to change and transformation is to understand the root cause of your behavior now. Morty Lefkoe, in his book Re-create your life, presents a proven, simple and systematic way to discover and eliminate negative self esteem that most people have due almost entirely to our upbringing. Once you understand your beliefs you can eliminate them.
Another adventure is that of holotropic breathwork. A little well, new age for most people, but quiet revealing.
Have fun and believe in your dreams! One day it will happen.